Ian Bousher (Written by Theo Gee)
Ian was a fragile child. As you can imagine, being a pasty white skinny ginger kid doesn’t place you very high up the popularity ladder at school. In fact, quite the opposite - he was bullied mercilessly, being called names like “that ginger kid” and “ginger boy” (they weren’t a very creative bunch). Ian turned to books as a means of escaping his torment, mainly using them as a shield to literally defend himself from children throwing rotten food at him. He eventually left school and went on to university to study psychology, and to find meaning and purpose in his miserable life. There, he met Theo, who gave him everything he needed and more. Finding Theo was like finding religion. Ian finally understood what all of his suffering and torment had been for. It had been for Theo. Just as Christ suffered for the sins of man so he may enter the Kingdom of Heaven and return to God, so too must Ian suffer so he may be with Theo for eternity and bask in the weight of his glory.
Theo Gee (Written by Ian Bousher)
Theo has suffering in his DNA, and if you can't tell that by looking into his sad eyes I don't know what to tell you. Compared to suffering in the desert or under the many prejudices throughout history , Theo felt that he just wasn’t miserable enough to do his ancestors justice. He tried everything: stroking a cactus, watching nothing but an image of Nicolas Cage, wearing a knitted nose warmer in public. He was sad, but not sad enough. One day, whilst trying to catch porcupines with his teeth, he fell in front of a titan of a man. A man that upon one glance of his rippling creative muscles Theo thought to himself “perhaps there is a way other than suffering?” That man was Ian, and soon Theo became devoted to impressing him enough that he might be his personal Moses and part the sea of shame that clouds his mind.